Collaborative Divorce: One Tool to Minimize Domestic Friction & Hostility
FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE
Oct. 18, 2019
Local Divorce Experts Spotlight the Benefits of Collaborative Divorce
During National Domestic Violence Awareness Month
HARTFORD, Conn; Oct. 18, 2019 – According to the National Coalition Against Domestic Violence, 1 in 3 women and 1 in 4 men have experienced some form of physical violence by an intimate partner and one third of all criminal court cases in the state involve family violence. Every October, recognizing National Domestic Violence Awareness Month provides the community with an opportunity to better understand the dynamics of this serious family issue, to respond effectively with trauma-informed strategies and to encourage ways to end patterns of behavior before they escalate into extreme control and abuse.
“Domestic Violence can be an insidious process. It often can start with a sense that the person cares so much they want to know where you are every minute,” said Dr. Elaine Ducharme, a divorce coach and child specialist with the Connecticut Collaborative Divorce Group (CCDG), a Hartford-based group of professionals that aims to keep divorcing couples and their children out of court using a popular method of family conflict resolution called Collaborative Divorce. “This can quickly escalate into feelings of jealousy and controlling behaviors. Many women feel that if the abuse is not physical then it really doesn’t count. Yet, verbal abuse can be extremely damaging.”
Bitterly contested or hostile divorces can exacerbate abusive behaviors. Working with a Collaborative Divorce team is one way to possibly preempt the emotions and contain inappropriate and abusive behaviors. The process may actually help people recognize their feelings and become better problem solvers without the use of violence, physical or emotional.
“Divorce can tear families apart and create new tensions and friction in the family,” said Robert Fried, an attorney with CCDG. “This can sometimes lead to domestic violence; the results of which can takes years to heal, if ever. Collaborative divorce reduces and minimizes the friction and hostility – instead of waging war in the courtroom, we negotiate in the safety of a conference room. We work together for the family instead of waging war against each other.”
Unlike traditional divorce, Collaborative Divorce gives couples more control over the outcome of their separation. Rather than having a judge decide the family’s future through litigation, Collaborative Divorce allows couples to make flexible agreements that address the financial, psychological and legal aspects of divorce. In addition to often being less expensive than a traditional divorce, Collaborative Divorce takes the entire family into account.
The Collaborative team is often made up of two lawyers, a financial expert and a mental health specialist. These jointly retained specialists help couples navigate divorce with dignity and discretion, discuss their issues in a safe environment, and learn new communication and problem-solving techniques to negotiate solutions that are mutually beneficial.
“The collaborative divorce style provides support for each individual and can often be effective in minimizing any bullying or abusive behaviors that typically occur in litigation,” Dr. Ducharme said. “The team can also help guide individuals into appropriate treatment for emotional issues, including anger management, when necessary.”
While those with a history of domestic violence may not always be a good match for the collaborative process, as long as the team feels everyone will be safe during the process, it can still be a helpful option.
To learn more about collaborative divorce process, visit www.ctcollaborativedivorce.com. CCDG members are available for in-person and telephone interviews.
If you are or someone you know is in an abusive relationship, there is help.
The National Domestic Violence: 1-800-799-7233
The National Sexual Assault Hotline: AT 1-800-656-4673
CCDG is a group of experienced divorce professionals, including divorce and family lawyers, financial and mental health professionals who have been specifically trained in the collaborative process. Each member of the group has made a commitment to the goals of collaborative practice in order to help people achieve fair and lasting settlements without using the court or even the threat of court. Additionally, each member attends regular meetings and training sessions designed to develop and enhance their collaborative divorce skills. For more information visit: www.ctcollabrorativedivorce.com
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