CCDG Psychologist Habelow on Divorce & Holidays: Parents Must Work Together to Help Children Cope

In normal circumstances, separating or divorcing families face new and daunting challenges during the holidays. This year is even more complicated. When it comes to divorce and the holiday season, consider how a Collaborative Divorce may be be particularly effective for families, children and the parents who may be alone.  

“In non-Covid times, the holidays are opportunities for children to have individual time with each parent, continue old traditions perhaps in slightly new ways, or create new traditions. Creating new traditions teaches children that different isn’t good or bad, it’s just different, and we don’t need to fear new experiences.

During Covid, I think there is hardly a person who won’t be doing something different this year, whether it’s not traveling to see family or friends, getting together outside or with far fewer people, or not getting together with anyone at all. Hopefully we will be in a far better position this time next year and we can resume much of life as we knew it before Covid.

In the meantime, if parents are sad or disappointed that their plans need to change, that can be difficult for children to see unless they also see parents working to cope positively with their uncomfortable emotions. There are news stories every week chronicling the significant spikes in rates of anxiety and depression among children and teenagers. All parents, divorced or not, need to work together to help children cope productively with all of the ramifications of Covid. If parents or children are experiencing worry, sadness, irritability, or anger that is more than usual and not going away, they should seek behavioral heath support and treatment.”