Back to School is Especially Tough for Warring Spouses, And It’s Even Worse During Pandemic

FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE
Sept. 9, 2020

 

Collaborative Divorce Can Help Parents Find Fair Resolution in These Complex Circumstances

HARTFORD, Conn; Sept. 9, 2020 – Even in the best of times, going back to school in the fall is a challenge for kids and parents, and it is especially hard for those families starting school after a divorce because they face new uncertainties at home and school.

Typical back to school stress for divorced or divorcing parents includes coordinating new childcare arrangements and bus schedules, figuring out which parent is responsible for packing or paying for lunches, which parent is responsible for buying clothing and school supplies. Dividing up this responsibility is complex. And this year, these stressors are compounded given the pandemic circumstances because many children are home doing online learning for part or all of the week.

Now these parents also have the added responsibility of rearranging their work schedules, buying additional school supplies and setting up for school at home. Parents of children with special needs must scramble to ensure their children get the necessary services and those with high schoolers may leave their children home alone, but then worry if their teenagers are participating in online learning as required.

“If childcare was challenging for divorced parents before Covid, it is now a nightmare,” said attorney Deborah Eisenberg with the Connecticut Collaborative Divorce Group (CCDG), a group of attorneys, financial professionals and behavioral health professionals that aims to keep divorcing couples and their children out of court using a team approach to family conflict resolution called Collaborative Divorce. “Some parents must now find daycare providers or other responsible third parties who will not only take care of their children during the school day, but also supervise their remote learning and homework. These challenges are difficult enough for intact families to work out, but it can be near impossible for warring spouses.”

One way for separated or divorcing parents to mitigate that stress and come up with a fair and workable solution for the new schooling landscape is through Collaborative Divorce, which offers a mechanism for parents to negotiate and resolve these types of parenting issues. Collaborative Divorce is an alternative dispute resolution process with professionals trained to assist and promote communications and settlement outside the court process. Divorcing parties meet and work toward a comprehensive resolution of all issues and organize it into a written document signed by the parties.

“All custodial and financial disputes are settled outside of court through a series of settlement conferences attended by the two spouses, their respective attorneys, a mental health professional who serves as a divorce coach, and, if needed, a financial neutral,” said Eisenberg. “Cases are settled by interest-based negotiation, staying away from hard-line positional arguing. The goal of the team is to develop a parenting plan that is tailored to the needs of the particular family and satisfies both parents’ interests and concerns.”

In some cases, a coach experienced in family-related issues works independently with the parents to carve out detailed parenting schedules and conditions that might otherwise be wholly absent in conventional divorces. In fact, a Collaborative Divorce can specifically address these unique and current stressors such as identifying appropriate childcare, adjusting parents’ work schedules, allocating responsibility for monitoring online learning and homework, and interfacing with school personnel. The parenting plan developed in a Collaborative Divorce is worked out in a team setting with everyone in agreement, which is far more effective both logistically and emotionally. The alternative is conventional litigation, which is generally adversarial and much less detail driven.

While many divorce cases were put on hold at the beginning of the pandemic and lockdown, divorces can now be filed, processed and finalized remotely – from start to finish. There are new court forms on the judicial website to assist parties in preparing their agreements, both as to custody agreements and financial agreements. And the more cooperation that happens between the parties outside of court, otherwise known as collaboration, the sooner a couple can finalize a divorce – which can also help alleviate some of those compounded stressors.

 

Learn more about the Collaborative Divorce process: www.ctcollaborativedivorce.com. CCDG members are available for interviews.

About CCDG: Connecticut Collaborative Divorce Group is a group of experienced divorce professionals, including divorce and family lawyers, financial and mental health professionals who have been specifically trained in the collaborative process. Each member of the group has made a commitment to the goals of collaborative practice in order to help people achieve fair and lasting settlements without using the court or even the threat of court. Additionally, each member attends regular meetings and training sessions designed to develop and enhance their Collaborative Divorce skills. For more information visit: www.ctcollabrorativedivorce.com