CCDG Psychologist Abby Cole on Gray Divorce

By Psychologist Abby Cole

Gray Divorce is particularly sad because couples have shared so many years together, and they had every intention of sustaining their marriage “until death do us part.” Their sense of identity is rooted in the marriage and the family they created, and it is difficult to envision a future alone.

People divorcing after 30 or 40 years of marriage tend to have settled into routines and habits. They rarely imagine themselves finding a new partner or building a new life, and to them, the prospect of change seems either bad or impossible.

Collaborative Divorce is particularly well-suited to Gray Divorces, as the team provides support for both spouses, helps them both plan for the future financially, and constructs a pathway towards being grandparents together even if they are no longer married.